Discrimination Even in Death

When there is a death we mourn the passing, we share our grief and take solace from the comfort offered by others.  However, when addiction is involved the situation changes.  “Oh well, it’s just another dead junkie!”  “One less on our streets!” “No waste there!” These are all comments I have heard and there are more.
 

 
Sadly, when an addict/alcoholic dies all too many families take the decision to limit the truth about the death of their loved one preferring the white lie – “an aneurysm, very sudden!” “A brain tumour, we never knew!” “Heart problems”.  In no other situation that I can think of would we ever lie or minimise the truth about someone’s death. Perhaps in the ‘80’s there was a similar stigma surrounding HIV deaths. But discrimination around drug and alcohol use has reached ridiculous proportions.
 
Discrimination: Headlines scream “junkie”, but why is this considered ok?  Why is it considered appropriate for our national media to use these phrases and make them part of our everyday language?  No other marginalised or vulnerable group would permit it. In fact, we’d all be up in arms, screaming and citing discrimination. We’ve come a long way with rights on LGBT, disability, mental health and ethnic minorities. There may still be a long way to go, but at least action can be taken when these groups suffer abuse of their condition, race, creed, sexuality, even age!
 
When will this same consideration be extended to the bereaved families and friends of an addict? Will they ever be able to hold their heads high and say “ yes, sadly he/she died of an overdose”, “ he or she had been drinking excessively for a long time, it was only a matter of time”, “He/she struggled with addiction for many years, it has been very sad for us all”?
 
There are church services held specifically for families who have been bereaved through addiction. These services give them an opportunity to stand up and speak about addiction.  For many, it’s the first time they can say “In memory of my son/daughter who died from an overdose/drinking too much”.  It’s a release; the chance to be honest about the death and be comforted by others who know only too well the discrimination they’ve faced.
 

 
Why do people, normal hard working, caring individuals consider it acceptable to discriminate in this fashion?  I have friends who, forgetting my situation, have made derogatory remarks about drug and alcohol users.  I try not to judge them and to rise above it. I’ve lived with the disease of addiction and I’ve experienced bereavement as a result of it.   Now I’m proudly standing tall, all 5ft 10’’ of me, and proclaiming my role in helping to reduce discrimination in life.
 
I’m part of a fantastic service that has delivered help, treatment and support to thousands of individuals and their families. We are an important resource. I’m going to be very loud because I am very proud.

from Western Counselling https://www.westerncounselling.com/blog/death-from-addiction/discrimination/
via Alcohol

Life Skills in Recovery

We all know that to do well, or even excel in life, we need a variety of skills; from simply learning to communicate with ours peers, to being able to read and write. Or at the other extreme – an in depth knowledge of quantum physics – a skill I most certainly don’t have!

We all need skills for life

But for addicts whose ‘using’ and addictive behavioural patterns began before these skills developed – their long-term recovery is threatened, despite their abstinence. It’s well documented that teen drug/alcohol use arrests development. There’s even research that suggests that alcohol use prior to the full development of the frontal lobe (approx. 19yrs) can seriously affect the brain’s ability to work to maximum effect.

We regularly admit clients to Western Counselling who have very limited social functioning. They have no comprehension of how to socialise without the use of drugs and/or alcohol and hold a belief that they need the drugs and/or alcohol to be likeable. They often have zero work experience because their ‘using’ was funded through the misguided generosity of their family or DWP Benefits.

We believe the purpose and mission of our centre is not only to get clients ‘clean’, but also to give them the tools and skills they will need to become functioning members of the community when they leave us. We aim to give each individual the best chance of success after treatment.

Developing life skills through workshops and study groups

We do this by treating addiction through our 12Step programme and by treating individuals holistically, exploring every aspect of their life, beliefs, and family. We believe this is crucial to a recovery that is all encompassing and long lasting. Through our programme of Life Skills workshops in Primary and Secondary treatment clients have an opportunity to improve literacy, numeracy, learn cookery, basic home economics and money management. And through volunteering opportunities they learn transferable life skills and build their self-esteem.

To give our clients even more opportunity to develop life skills Western Counselling is now working in partnership with Lighthouse, a social action charity in Weston-super-Mare. Their Make a Difference Project gives our clients the opportunity to volunteer in the community to train and learn vital skills. Look out for more about this project in my next blog.

Read more of our articles here

from Western Counselling https://www.westerncounselling.com/blog/recovery-from-addiction/life-skills/
via Alcohol

Don’t Forget the Family

Addiction is a family illness. It affects everyone who comes into contact with the behaviours.  Many of us who have lived with it are often unaware of the severity of the problem.  Personally, it took me 8 years to realise that the person in my family who was a heavy drinker and liked the pub, was actually an alcoholic.
 

 

I know I’m not alone, I regularly attend Alanon http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk – a support group for those affected by alcoholism – and hear stories of those who have enabled and colluded with their addicted loved one.
They do it in order to hide their own humiliation, embarrassment and/or shame at the situation.  We feel guilt.  What have we done to cause this?  What could we have done to make a difference?  How are we supposed to handle what’s happening?
 

The family are the forgotten ones.  Fortunately, more recently emphasis has been placed on assisting families.  Western Counselling runs a Family Programme to inform, assist and support families and those affected by another’s addictive behaviours.  Through advice and education our programme helps the family understand their role in addiction and recovery.  Family members need to realise and admit the part they might have played in enabling their addict; such as lying for them, giving them money or making excuses for them.
 

Families living with addiction need to be supported through the anxieties and issues they face. They also need an understanding of the treatment process their son, daughter/wife/father/husband/sibling is going through.  Every family is different, so our programme is designed to meet a family’s individual needs. We help them to acknowledge what’s happening in the home, their own behaviours in response and allow them to work out how that impacts the situation for all concerned.
 

Support and assistance in life is critical  – but what about support in death?  For families the problem often becomes worse if the addict/alcoholic dies and I’ll have something to say about that next time.

from Western Counselling https://www.westerncounselling.com/blog/families-and-addiction/dont-forget/
via Alcohol